I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
