would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
