Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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