if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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