Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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