I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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