next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
