Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
