Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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