So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
