what if every blade of grass was a penis?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize