i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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