My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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