Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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