I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
