she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
