He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize