piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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