I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
