ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
