just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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