If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
