Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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