definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
