Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize