Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
