I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
