Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize