Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
