He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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