It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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