what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
