This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
