idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
