If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
