Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my being single is dangerous.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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