how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
