i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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