reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
