we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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