You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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