worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
