I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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