you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
