She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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