Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
