I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
