Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize