What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
