I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
