So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
