Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
