last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I could fuck to npr.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
