My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
