He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
