so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
