Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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