It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
