Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
