I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
