This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Heβs like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if heβs shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know Iβve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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