his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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