I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
