just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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