jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
