Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
