Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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